Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
