I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
