you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
