My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
