I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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