dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
