Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
