You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
