He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
