some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
