so that wasnt chicken after all
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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