bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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