he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
