so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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