dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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