Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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