So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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