TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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