I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
