At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
