i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
