I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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