Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
