8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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