I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just had sex on a roof
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dicks are not precious.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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