This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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