I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
