What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
