So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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