Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
