I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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