i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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