would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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