Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize