And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
