Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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