how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
