do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
