dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
