How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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