haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
