How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
