He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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