Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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