i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
