oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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