imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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