I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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