She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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