please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
