Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
