Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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