im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
