Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
