Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
