So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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