just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
