TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
