That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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