There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
