i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
