I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
