I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
