piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
