I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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