Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
